How to Use Dialogue Effectively in Memoir

Updated: Jul 20, 2020

Whether questions, rants, or declarations of love, snippets of dialogue can add both spice and depth to a reader's experience of your memoir.

Coaching memoirists is fascinating for many reasons, but one of them is that I get to be privy to different people's thoughts, memories, and writing processes. I had one coaching client whose memory for #dialogue was clear as a bell, and another who only remembered snippets of conversations here and there. Most people fall somewhere in between.

Strong emotions tend to create strong memories, which can be really useful when writing #memoir. While dialogue is not necessary in a memoir, it can enhance characterization and enrich a scene considerably. It helps draw readers into the immediacy of a moment, and enables them to form their own opinions and draw their own conclusions about people and situations. Dialogue is a form of showing instead of telling.

There are many nuances involved in using dialogue effectively, and you can only hone those skills through learning and practice. You have to start somewhere, though. Here are four basic key elements to keep in mind as you begin writing:


Dialogue doesn’t occur in a vacuum. There’s a setting, a location, a time of day, a particular meal, a meaningful gathering or other event. The conversation might take place in a car, a living room, a busy office, a lifeboat, a bedroom, a battlefield, a restaurant, etc.

And the dialogue wouldn’t just take place in a restaurant. It would take place between two people, say a man and a woman, and they’re seated at a small corner table, leaning toward each other, speaking over a late dinner in a noisy dining room.

And perhaps they chose this restaurant specifically because it’s noisy, and they don’t want to be overheard. And there will be a significant reason why they don't want to be overheard.

There will be a context for whatever dialogue takes place. You don’t plop dialogue down onto a page like a cow-pie in a field, or it will lack meaning and accomplish nothing.


Dialogue should always serve a purpose. Whether you're writing fiction or nonfiction, dialogue included in any scene should do one of the following: 

  • reveal something about a character or situation

  • illustrate something about a character or situation 

  • reinforce something that has already been revealed

  • contradict something that the reader and/or another character has been led to believe